While we were on a walk one day, Thomas and I had “the conversation” – the one where you dream about your future together as parents, talk about being “ready” to create a family and love on little ones. I started dreaming about Thomas chasing them around the house, Remi following closely behind.

It’s been a while since that walk. It’s been a while of trying to conceive each month. And each time there’s a new hurdle to climb since, once more, it didn’t happen the way we thought it would have. I suffered silently, thinking that there must be something wrong with me, maybe even something wrong with us.

I’ve hesitated to share because we didn’t want to scare people. And if we’re really honest, we didn’t want to scare ourselves. We feared putting the name to what this is because somehow doing so would make this reality more real than it already is.

But now, we’re calling the bluff and telling our journey of infertility that it has no hold on us, on our future or the goodness of God. We’re ripping off fear, shame and what seems to be loneliness and replacing it with hope, joy and community of prayer warriors that, for a season, we forgot that we had.

Yes, I selfishly share this to ask for your prayers as we discover next steps, as we get results back (friendly and maybe frightening), and continue this journey.

But, more than it being about us, I want to recognize the multitude of women that are still suffering silently through infertility. This is me speaking up for other women who don’t feel like they can quite yet.

But we also share to be transparent so that whenever the day comes, Lord willing, that the miracle of a child happens, God’s work is on display because people knew of the valleys we walked through to sit in that victory.

1 Thessalonians 2:8 says “because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” So this is us, sharing our life, our testimony, our declaration that “God is still good” and thanking you all for rallying around us. The God of the mountain is the God of the valley.

Xo,
The Awtreys

This is the song we are clinging to at the moment and would love to encourage you with it as well: