Real Talk

A Love Letter to Control Queens with Tara Sun | Episode 245

September 2, 2023

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I'm  Rachel!

As a mama, wife, and blogger I lead conversations around the ups and downs of life, from practical tips to relatable stories that'll leave you thinking, "hey, I've been there too!"


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Today we are chatting about all things control, to the control queens this is where you say amen! Tara Sun is one of a kind and full of wisdom for all of us control girlies. Born and raised in Oregon, she married her high school sweetheart, and has a baby named Hunter. She just published her first book called “Surrender Your Story.” 

Tara shares about the process of creating her “book baby” and the control that can be so easy to fall into when creating something you have a vision for. As she wrote her book she started to realize that many of the things she felt led to write about she was also experiencing herself. I asked Tara about the moment she realized the things she was writing about were also things she was walking through. After walking through a season of sickness in high school she recognized her control problem because when things did not go her way she questioned God. What a good practical thing to tuck in our back pocket. We assume things will always go our way and when they don’t it can be easy to crumble. When things don’t go our way do we question God’s goodness or stay rooted in his faithfulness? God calls us to things that we can be obedient to and should be obedient to. Whether it’s dropping out of school, calling off the engagement, whatever it is for you, it is easy to struggle with surrendering the change because we fear the unknown more than we respect God’s character.

God knows us more than we know ourselves, his resume is trustable. Tara shares, we can’t live surrendered if we are trying to get ahead of God. We often don’t trust God because we think our plan is better. We think God’s timing is slow and if there are things in front of us that can be done and it can be easy to want to go faster than God so we pursue them. A great line of wisdom Tara shared said “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” For us go-getters it can be easy for us to run fast after life but sometimes God has beauty to teach us in the process. Even things we view as setbacks are not setbacks, God takes what we call “setbacks” and makes them stepping stones. 

A great practical “to -do” Tara mentioned was talking to yourself outloud. As simple as it sounds, it is something she has implemented into her life and keeps her reminded of the truth of God and his control. We can talk in circles all day long about what we should know and do but there are practical things we can tell ourselves to remind us of foundational truths. Tara encourages speaking out loud things in our life. Take what God says, the reality of a situation, and remind yourself of his truth by saying it outloud. Even saying out loud “God you know, I don’t” or speaking scripture like  “Your ways are higher.” Say these things even when you don’t believe them because when you are speaking his powerful words out loud, he will make that faith your reality. Do not give up even when your soul doesn’t believe because God will help you believe it. 

On the days that we worry about the results of surrendering control, remembering God’s faithfulness to obedience. The results are up to God but the obedience is up to us. God has called us to do things. Sometimes when we hear “surrender” we think that is waving a white flag and throwing the towel in. Tara lets us know that surrender is active, it’s still seeking him, reading his word, and asking God for continued direction. This is the key to surrender. It is more of a heart posture than anything, maxing potential but also being yielded to what is leading you to. Find freedom in this. Be inspired that God has things that he wants you to do, remember this when you are tempted to sit but know God has amazing things he wants us to do. You can trust him, for anyone wanting to take hold of the reins, you can trust him. 

Ending on a fun note, I asked Tara what her favorite thing is right now. She shares about the Maybelline 24 hour skin tent. It evens out your complexion while also not being too full coverage. $16.99 at Ulta, a good foundation you need in your makeup routine and linked below. Another brand I am loving is Rare beauty, it’s clean, a heavier foundation for events, a good essential for your makeup bag. 

Tara’s Instagram 

Tara’s Book, “Surrender Your Story”

Maybelline 24 Hour Skin Tint

Rare Beauty

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I am an online encourager based out of Birmingham, AL that's obsessed with my girls and sharing bits and pieces of my life. I wear a lot of hats these days including mama to two boys, military wife, blogger, podcast host and more. You can find me behind the microphone at Real Talk with Rach where we talk about everything from jeans to Jesus, playlists to pop culture, the good and the grief and everything in between. 

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